I Get E-Mail!

My son Kelvin sent me this business opportunity! Wow, this could be the one!!

From: "Kelvin Andrews" enquiries_3@azet.sk
Subject: Western Union payment to your acc
Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2008 06:26:03 +0100

Dear Mom & Dad,

This is a real business opportunity for anyone (within the US and Minors)
with a flexible schedule and transportation at the extreme. I need
collection agents for my international import / export business. This is a
real second income opportunity. Great for work at home moms and dads! Hours
vary between 2-10 hours a week. Depends on our need in your area. Everyone
who is accepted will be given trial assignments. Once you have proven that
you enjoy the work and want to continue the volume of collections and amount
you can earn will increase gradually.

Once you are accepted we will have our clients pay you on our behalf. You
will pick up payments for the company nearly every day per our instructions.
You will keep 10% of all collections as your commission for your work. The
balance will be sent to our suppliers per our instructions to you.

Requirements:

1. Honesty and Integrity--You are handling company funds.

2. Flexibility and Commitment. You need to be available when needed.

3. Attention to detail and ability to follow instructions.

4. Transportation to Pick up Payments and make Payment to Suppliers.

5. Available 7 days a week if needed.

6. Must have computer with Internet access.

7. Must be able to communicate via email and on the phone in English. Income
potential up to $500 a week or more once you have proven you are a
trustworthy representative who can handle your assignments in a timely
manner. If you are interested send an email explaining your qualifications
and why you think this second income opportunity is right for you.

8. If you have a bank account with any of customer friendly banks in the USA,UK,Canada and Australia will be
a added advantage.


Hurry! We have several openings worldwide and will fill these positions in
the next seven days. Every email will be answered. Following a phone
interview, if you are accepted, you must be ready to work immediately.

Note this is not a salaried position with benefits. Your 10% commission is
your pay. The volume of collections determines your earnings. Your earning
potential is based on performance. We do not discriminate on race, color or
religion. If you have a good work ethic you will do well with our company.

Sincerely,

Kelvin Andrews.
+44 703 594 9160

VP Human Relations International Division
Blue Tie Global Resources International

Oh, wait, I don't HAVE a son named Kelvin. Well, maybe the next email will pan out!

Crud, I deleted it already. Well, it WOULD have been funny. I'll have to try it again, later. There's always more spam!

I Get E-Mail!

So the Brit's National Lottery sends out notices from an ".edu" TLD?
With the word "spam" in the subject line?
Yeah, I BELIEVE!

SUBJECT: [spam] To file for claim
FROM: "miller@ucc.edu"

To file for claim
The National Lottery
P O Box 1010
Liverpool, L70 1NL
UNITED KINGDOM
(Customer Services)
Ref: UK/9420X2/90
Batch: 08005/ZY369

To avoid your winning prize been auto cancelled, do not reply to this Email send all your replies directly to your assigned Fiduciary Agent ( mr.aaronjackson@hotmail.com)

RE: BONUS LOTTERY E-MAIL PROMOTION PRIZE AWARDS WINNING NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to notify you that The Uk National Promo Draw is don annually and lucky winners
Email address are selected randomly from Millions of World Wide Emails address, and your Email
address has been selected as one of the 7th lucky winners with E -ticket Number: 123418302 188,
Serial Number : 5368/02, Batch Number: R3/A312-59, Reference Number: LSUK/2031/8161/06 and
Lucky Numbers: 07. 10, 22, 24, 34, 44, (18 Bonus Ball), which is creditted to a total sum of
£1,200,000 (ONE MILLION AND TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS STERLING) .This is from a total cash
prize of £7,200,000 GBP shared amongst the first Three (3) lucky winners in this category i.e.
Match 5 plus bonus. thousands of websites submits thier users emails address to us, in order
to enter their users in our annual UK National Lottery Promo.

To file for claim, you are required to provide us with the information below
for verification, including your below winning information:

E -ticket Number: 123418302 188
Serial Number : 5368/02
Batch Number: R3/A312-59
Reference Number: LSUK/2031/8161/06
Lucky Numbers: 4, 8, 4, 6, 0, 4, 6

Full Name:
Mailing address:
Permanent house address:
Country of resident:
Phone Number:
Age:
Marital Status:
Sex:
Occupation:
Annual Income:
E -ticket Number:
Serial Number :
Batch Number:
Reference Number:
Lucky Numbers:

Please send the above of your information to your assigned UK National Lottery Fiduciary Agent using
the following contact information

=========================================
Name: Mr.Aaron Jackson.
Email: mr.aaronjackson@hotmail.com
=========================================

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
At your disposal, we remain.
Very Truly Yours,
Miller Clinton

Copyright 1994-2008 The UK National Lottery Inc.
All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline

I STILL don't get how these guys can spell "ficuciary", I mean "fiduciary", correctly, and then spell "their" as "thier"!! Not to mention the random letter "s" inserted here and there... Spell check, bebe! Use it!

I Get E-Mail!

Besides all the stupid PediPaws spam I get, which I will NEVER buy, just on principle, I occasionally get a business proposition. This has got to be one of LAMEST I've ever received!

Subject: EMAIL
From: JOSEPH POON josephpoon_3@yahoo.com.hk

Good Day,
I have a business of US$22.4million for you.Please contact me for details.
Joseph Poon

Come ON, Joe, put a little effort into it!

I Get E-Mail!

TWO completely independent people sent me this lottery-winning email, so it MUST be true!

Email #1

WINNING NOTIFICATION
"Geller, Callard L"

Company No. 02949433
SERIAL NUMBER: 5368/02
TICKET NUMBER: 8603775966738
Batch Number: 074/05/ZY369
Ref Number: UK/9420X/05

WINNING NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement that you are
one of our beginning of the year winners of the UNITED KINGDOM ONLINE

PROMO AWARDS, held on 28th sep ,2008. You have won for your self a total sum of
£1,200,000 POUNDS STERLING.

However, no tickets were sold but all email addresses were assigned to
different ticket numbers for representation and privacy.The selection
process was

carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection
machine(TOPAZ) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from
all the continents of the world.

Please you are adviced to complete the form and send it immediately to
0Aour from the designated bank.

Fill the below information's and send to the fiduciary agent for your
Claims verification:
FILL THE CLAIMS FORM BELOW AND SEND
TO OUR CLAIMS AGENT FOR VERIFICATION
1. Full Names:
2. Address:
3. Age:
4. Sex:
5. Marital Status:
6. Occupation:
7. Phone numbers:
8. Country:

Name: Mr. Morrison Bonnie

e-mail: Morrison218Bonnie@live.com

Tell-+447024084588

Yours Truly,
Co-ordinator(Online Promo Programme)

Email #2

Contact Mr. Morrison Bonnie
"Durr, Kristin"

Company No. 02949433
SERIAL NUMBER: 5368/02
TICKET NUMBER: 8603775966738
Batch Number: 074/05/ZY369
Ref Number: UK/9420X/05

WINNING NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement that you are
one of our beginning of the year winners of the UNITED KINGDOM ONLINE

PROMO AWARDS, held on 28th sep ,2008. You have won for your self a total sum of
£1,200,000 POUNDS STERLING.

However, no tickets were sold but all email addresses were assigned to
different ticket numbers for representation and privacy.The selection
process was

carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection
machine(TOPAZ) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from
all the continents of the world.

Please you are adviced to complete the form and send it immediately to
0Aour from the designated bank.

Fill the below information’s and send to the fiduciary agent for your
Claims verification:
FILL THE CLAIMS FORM BELOW AND SEND
TO OUR CLAIMS AGENT FOR VERIFICATION
1. Full Names:
2. Address:
3. Age:
4. Sex:
5. Marital Status:
6. Occupation:
7. Phone numbers:
8. Country:

Name: Mr. Morrison Bonnie

e-mail: Morrison218Bonnie@live.com

Tell-+447024084588

Yours Truly,
Co-ordinator(Online Promo Programme)

Wow, my fears are allayed, NO TICKETS were sold, only email addresses were used to pick da weiners. Ah, yes, using TOPAZ machine, I see. Why never SAPPHIRE? Not to mention Merlin, Arthur, Galahad, Vyvyan, Lancelot, Garnet, Opal, Amethyst, Moonstone, Pearl. And then there is poor, retired, Guinevere...

By the by, the UK National Lottery has a page about email scams...

I Get E-Mail!

I just love the name "Precious". I recall a fellow in Basic Training who's back-home nickname turned out to be "Precious". Wasn't that fun when the D.I. discovered that! Guess what his military nickname became?

Back to the email, hey, I didn't know they had the intarwebs in refugee camps! What else do they have, running hot and cold water?


FROM MISS PRECIOUS DEBA
NICLA REFUGEE CAMP,
Ivory Coast
Email: pcdeba@live.fr


Dear Friend,

my name is Miss Precious Deba and am the only surviving
child of my parents who died in one of the mugabe's crazy
land reforms crises in zimbabwe.

i am contacting you not only because of my sympathetic
situation but also for your advise/help in the management of
an inherited funds worth of us$8.5m(eight million, five
hundred thousand dollars).

the funds in question was deposited with a private security
firm here in abidjan-Ivory coast by my late father.

i decided to leave my country(zimbabwe) for security reasons
as well as to increase my search for a reliable person who
can help me reform my life which is in shambles at the
moment
and having found your contact on the internet business page,
i hope you will not let me down or betray me at the end of
the day.

i am ready to compensate your much needed assistance as we
will agree when i get your nod of acceptance.

i will wait hopefully for your urgent and confidential
response as i assure you that it is a risk free transaction.

regards,

Pecious Deba
please reply to : pcdeba@live.fr

Hey, you misspelled your own name there, Pecious! And get your shift key fixed, it seems to have an intermittent!

I Get E-Mail!

Yes, those sentences were THAT short! The guy must have a very narrow monitor! Maybe he typed it on a 22 column VIC-20!

Uk National Lottery Prize
Dave Troutt

Company No. 02949433
SERIAL NUMBER: 5368/02
TICKET NUMBER: 8603775966738
Batch Number: 074/05/ZY369
Ref Number: UK/9420X/05
WINNING NOTIFICATION
We are pleased to inform you of the

final announcement that you are
one
of our beginning of the year winners

of the UNITED KINGDOM ONLINE
PROMO
AWARDS, held on 13 semp , 2008.

You have won for your self
a total sum of £1,200,000 POUNDS

STERLING.

However, no tickets were sold but all

email addresses were assigned to

different ticket numbers for

representation and privacy.The

selection process was carried out

through random selection in our

computerized email selection

machine(TOPAZ) from a database of

over 250,000 email addresses drawn

from all the continents of the world.

Please you are adviced to complete

the form and send it immediately to

our Promotion manager through email

or fax for prompt collection of your

fund from the designated bank.

Fill the below information’s and send

to the fiduciary agent for your
Claims verification:
FILL THE CLAIMS FORM BELOW

AND SEND
TO OUR CLAIMS AGENT FOR

VERIFICATION
1. Full Names:
2. Address:
3. Age:
4. Sex:
5. Marital Status:
6. Occupation:
7. Phone numbers:
8. Country:

Name: Mr. Anord Scotty
e-mail: anordscotty@yahoo.com.hk

Yours Truly,
Co-ordinator(Online Promo

Programme)

Over a million pounds sterling...what's that in REAL money? hahaha, I am joking my friends in the isles! The TOPAZ machine makes its appearance again! Drawn from ALL the continents of the world? Antarctica, even? Well, people do live there. A few. Scientists. And there are all the penguins!

I Get E-Mail!

Honest to goodnes, you use a word like modalities, the meaning of which I do not know, and then throw in things like "there grant" and "passed three year"? Bush league, baby. Get with the program!

COMPLIMENT OF THE DAY...
MRS ZHU YUNING

Good Day,

Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mrs. Zhu Yuning, Am an accountant
in the Fondazione Di Vittorio, established 1977 by the Multi-Million
groups and now supported by United Nations Organization (UNO) and the
European Union (EU), and conceived with the objective of human growth,
educational, and community development thereby uplifting the standard of
living of people. Below is the site.

1.http://www.fondazionedivittorio.it

After further investigation, it was discovered that some of the grant
beneficiary did not claim there grant and this grant funds has been in our
account for the passed three years. So, Seventeen Millions Five Hundred
Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in our account and no one
will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according
to the laws of Italians, at the expiration of 4 years the funds will
revert to the ownership of the Italian Government. Against this backdrop,
my suggestion to you is that I will like to transfer the sum of
$17,500,000.usd for the payment of the Grants that was not claim by the
Recipients .

MODALITIES:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall
come out successful. I have an attorney that will prepare the necessary
document that will back you up as the Beneficiary, all that is required
from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and
Address so that the attorney can commence his job.

After you have been made the beneficiary, the attorney will also fill in
for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and of
probate in your favor. There is no risk involved at all in this matter,
as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare
all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion
in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been
transferred to your bank account we shall then share in the ratio of 70%
for me, 30% for you.

Should you be interested please send me your,

1, Full names,
2, private phone number,
3, current residential address,

And I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below:
(zhuyuning_02@ozu.es) and finally after that I shall provide you with more
details of this operation.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Mrs. Zhu Yuning.