I Get E-Mail

More mail, so lame.

This one must be real, it's from Hong Kong!

My Greetings

Greetings of the day to you. It is understandable that you might be a little bit apprehensive because you do not know me but I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest to share with you. . I got your reference in my search for someone who suits my proposed business relationship. Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan Executive Director & Chief financial Officer of Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have anobscured business suggestion for you.

I will need you to assist me in executing a business project from Hong Kong to your country. It involves the transfer of a large sum of money. Everything concerning this transaction shall be legally done without hitch. Please endeavour to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.

Once the funds have been successfully transferred into your account, we shall share in the ratio to be agreed by both of us. Should you be interested send the following details to kick-start the process;

Full name
Address, Nationality
Age, Sex, Occupation Marital Statu,
Private Phone Number, Private fax number

I will prefer you reach me on my private email address(patrickchan204@yahoo.com.hk) and finally after that I shall furnish you with more informations about this operation. Please if you are not interested delete this email and do not hunt me because I am putting my career and the life of my family at stake with this venture. Although nothing ventured is nothing gained. Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Mr. Patrick J.P. Chan

And I have an unobscured business suggestion for YOU, Mr. Chan! P'raps you could endeavour to figure just what it is!

And, I'm not telling ANYONE my Marital Statu!!

This one came on a humor mailing list I subscribe to. It's not much of a list, all I ever get, lately, is the occasional spam!

SAINT NICOLAS MATERNITY HOME
233 KIRIKIRI BARCELOS ROAD
NEITHERLAND AMSTERDAM.
TEL:337554345433


DEAR BELOVED ONE, GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

AM MRS LINDSDAY WHILE,A WIDOW TO LATE MIKEL WHILE AM 55 YEARS OLD, I AM NOW
A NEW CHRISTAIN
CONVERT SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST,FROM ALL INDICATION MY
CONDITIONS IS REALLY
DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WONT LIVE MORE THAN 2MONTHS,
ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS,THIS IS
BECAUSE THE CANER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE.

MY LATE HUSBAND WAS KILLED DURING THE U.S. RAID AGAINST TERRORISM IN
AFGHANISTAN,AND DURING THE PERIOD OF
OUR MARRIAGE WE COULDN'T PRODUCE ANY CHILD.

MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS
BUSINESS AND WEALTH.
THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN 2 MONTHS, SO I
NOW DECIDED TO DIVIDE THE PART OF
THIS WEALTH,TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHURCH IN
AFRICA,AMERICA ASIA,AND EUROPE I SELECTED YOU
AFTER VISITING THE AFTER GOING THROUGH SERIES OF EMAILS AND I PRAYED OVER
IT.

I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $3.500,000.00(THREE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)TO
THE LESS PRIVILEGED.

PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT FUND IS LYING IN A BANK AND UPON MY
INSTRUCTION,MY
ATTORNEY,WHO PRESENTLY IS IN UK WILL FILE IN AN APPLICATION FOR YOU FOR THE
TRANSFER OF THE MONEY
IN YOUR NAME.

LASTLY,I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERED WILL BE SURE FOR THE
SAID PURPOSE,BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO
FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY.

MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND
THE FELLOWSHIP OF
THE HOLYSPIRIT BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

I AWAIT URGENT REPLY THROUGH THIS EMAIL OR MY PRIVATE EMAIL
lindsdaywhile@gmail.com

YOURS IN CHRIST

MRS. SUSAN WHILE.

Hasn't anyone ever told Lindsday/Susan (What's up with THAT?) that typing in all caps is rude? A couple of questions come to mind: I wonder why a dying cancer patient is in a maternity hospital. How can one spell deteriorating correctly and mispel Christian?

I wonder if I could start a consulting business with these folks as clients, helping them with their grammar, spelling, spacing...

Later!