Monday, July 1, 2013

I Get Spam!

TO recipients

Federal bureau of investigation
Field Intelligence Unit
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, USA.

Urgent Attention: Beneficiary

I am special Agent Kelvin Willaims from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Field Intelligence Unit, we have just intercepted and confiscated two (2) trunk boxes at John F Kennedy airport in New York, and are on the verge of moving it to our bureau headquarter.
We crosschecked the content of the boxes and found it to contain a total sum of $4.1 million and also backup documents which bears your name as the receiver of the money contained in the boxes, investigations carried out on the diplomat which accompanied the boxes into the united states has it that he was to deliver this funds to your residence as payment which was due you from unpaid contract, inheritance, lotto, loan, etc.

We cross-checked all legal documentations in the boxes, and were about to release the consignment to the diplomat, when we found out that the boxes is lacking two very important documentation which as a result, the boxes has been confiscated and kept in our security vault.

According to section 229 subsection 31 of the constitution ratified in 1992, your consignment lacks proof of OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE from the joint team of the Federal Bureau Of Investigation and homeland security and therefore you must contact us for direction on how to procure the two certificates, so that you can be relieved of the charges of evading tax which is a punishable offense under section 12 subsection 441 of constitution on tax evasion.

You are therefore required to get back to me on this email { } within 72 hours, so that i will guide you on how to get the needed documents. Failure to comply with our directive may lead you into problem; you may be arrested, interrogated and prosecuted in the court of law for money laundering.

We may also get the Financial Action Task Force (FATF) on money laundering involved if you do not follow our instructions. You are also advised not to get in contact with any other institution, since your funds are here now in the United States of America and can be delivered to any country of your choice once you secure those required documents.

Yours in service
Agent Kelvin Willaims
Regional director
Federal Bureau of Investigation

More threats from the FBI!  Ha ha!  I didn't know they used Yahoo Hong Kong email addresses there.  I especially like how the last name is misspelled, consistently, except in the email address.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Found This In The Drafts Folder

My friend Mr. Poon (huh?) is reminding me again of a Secured business suggestion. Was I asleep the first time?

Reminding You Again

Mr. Joseph Poon>

Dear Friend,

Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Joseph Poon, Managing Director and Deputy Chief Executive of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have a Secured business suggestion for you., Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Mr.Fayez Abdulaziz Mohammed who was a business merchant and a contractor with the Iraqi Government but a citizen of SAUDI ARABIA,Made a numbered fixed deposit for 24 calendar months(2Years), with a value of Twenty Two million Four Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war which began in 2003. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that Mr.Fayez Abdulaziz Mohammed along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit His Resident. After further investigation it was also discovered that Mr.Fayez Abdulaziz Mohammed did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Two million Four Hundred Thousand (Why is thousand capitalized, but million is not?) United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 3 years and six month the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Mr.Fayez Abdulaziz Mohammed so that you will be able to receive his funds.


I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Mr.Fayez Abdulaziz Mohammed,all that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favour for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you.There is no risk involved at all in this matter, as we are going adopt a legalized (by who? Or is that whom?) method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.Should you be interested please send me your

1,Full names,
2,Private phone number, (As opposed to what?)
3,Current residential address.

And I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below;


And finally after that I shall provide you with more details of this operation. I want to know if you are willing to follow up this business seriously before I can give you more details about this transaction,I shall be waiting for your response and assurance.Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Joseph Poon

Dinner Last Night

Last night we had tostada-style tacos, in that the tortillas folded into little tacos, but there were beans, which makes them tostada-syle, I am told.

They were really excellent! The chef put a touch of lime juice on the salsa which really zinged! The home-made tortillas were so much better than store bought, too!

The "chef", by the way, was my daughter.

The dog there is Shogun.

Happy eating!