Monday, June 30, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

Short, but...weird!

新しいメールアドレスをお知らせします新しいメールアドレス: scottego_098765@yahoo.co.jp

Am Scott, I had BRAIN TUMOR, Before I became ill, I kept $9.5M in a SECURITY COMPANY, My Doctor told me that I will not survive this illness, I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden/Less-privileged who can not help themselves.Reply me for more details.

- Scott Ego

Hey, you calling ME "down-trodden"?? Yah little punk! I RESEMBLE that remark!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

Got another email from the IRS. You know, the one that uses Google Mail for their emails...


Your IRA tax refund notification (Payment ID 283-0176)
Internal Revenue Service refunds@gmail.com

A Secure Way to Receive Your Tax Return

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $620.50.
Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 3-9 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons.
For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access the form for your tax refund, please click here
Note: For security reasons, we will record your ip-address, the date and time.
Deliberate wrong inputs are criminally pursued and indicated.


Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

Copyright 2008, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.



Does the IRS actually refund parts of a dollar? I thought they rounded it off. I know I do when I send it in! Three to nine days to process it? It is to laugh! Note the scary warning in red; you will be "indicated"!!

You will note the "click here" link to a Canadian site, loudya.com. Whois give us this information:


Registrant:
loudya xxx
xxx
montreal, Quebec x0x0x0
Canada

Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: LOUDYA.COM
Created on: 20-Sep-04
Expires on: 20-Sep-08
Last Updated on: 28-Aug-07

Administrative Contact:
xxx, loudya loudya1@hotmail.com
xxx
montreal, Quebec x0x0x0
Canada
5141111111 Fax --

Technical Contact:
xxx, loudya loudya1@hotmail.com
xxx
montreal, Quebec x0x0x0
Canada
5141111111 Fax --

Domain servers in listed order:
NS.OPALE-NET.COM
NS2.OPALE-NET.COM

Monday, June 23, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

Our first email is short and sweet. What the heck is Business Treasury Services? I guess if you are one, you know! I love the phrase, "If you are not user of the Chase Manhattan Bank Business please disregard this e-mail!", especially the exclamation point! So let me see if I have this straight--Chase Manhattan Bank has no idea who their customers are, so they send a blanket email out. Yeah, right!

Dear Chase Bank Internet Banking customer!

Our Maintenance Department is doing a scheduled website upgrade

By following the link below please commence the procedure of the user login approval:

https://www2.chase.com/ccp/clientconfirm.jsp/?unitid=21jdsewzraFZGDtcwhhOkhb

These instructions are to be e-mailed and followed by all members of the Business Treasury Services.

JP Morgan Chase Bank Group does apologize for the problems caused, and is very appreciative for your collaboration.

If you are not user of the Chase Manhattan Bank Business please disregard this e-mail!

--- This is automatically generated message please do not reply ---

© 2008 JP Morgan Chase Bank Corporation All Rights Reserved.


Letter Number Two proudly announces:


I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: bensonjames47@yahoo.com

- FROM THE DESK OF MR.BENSON ZIK JAMES ABBEY INTERNATIONAL BANK 2 TRION SQUARE REGENTS PLACE LONDON NW1 3AN UNITED KINGDOM DEAR SIR,I AM MR.BENSON ZIK JAMES,A SOUTH AFRICAN NATIONAL WORKING AS THE HEAD OF FOREIGN EXCHANGE DEPARTMENT OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED BANK.ON NOVEMBER 6TH,2000,AN AMERICA OIL CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR IN IRAQ.MR.JACK FERRER POWELL DEPOSITED THE SUM OF $6,500,000.00 UNITED STATES DOLLARS IN THE BANK SINCE 6TH OF NOVEMBER,2000.AND SINCE THEN WE HAVE NOT SEEN HIM AGAIN.ALL THE CONTACT HE GAVE WAS FAKE CONTACT.FINALLY WE DISCOVERED FROM HIS CONTRACT EMPLOYERS,THE PETROLEUM CORPORATION THAT MR.JACK FERRER POWELL,DIED IN THE PLANE CRASH ON OCTOBER 31,2000,(AN EGYPTIAN BOEING 767 FLIGHT 990)WITH OTHER PASSENGERS ON BOARD.RIGHT NOW I CONTACTED YOU IF YOU CAN AGREE TO CLAIM IT.ALL THE BACK UP DOCUMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED BY ME AND TEAM REDEPOSITING THIS MONEY WITH SAME NAME I NEED FROM A FAKE ADDRESS FROM YOU AND YOUR MOBILE TELEPHONE NUMBER,SO THAT AFTER THE DEAL THERE WILL BE NO TRACE OF ANY KIND.ONCE THIS IS DONE,I AM GOING TO RESIGN MY APPOINTMENT WITH BANK.PLEASE IF YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT,I A READY TO GIVE YOU 30% OF THE TOTAL SUM.JUST REPLY VIA MY EMAIL.BEST REGARDS,MR.BENSON ZIK JAMES

Yes, it was formatted just that way, except the green stuff was in a text box.


Speaking of fake Paypal emails, I discovered the other day that my Paypal account WAS locked up tight, apparently because I haven't used it in, probably, six years.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

That's Hot!

A blob of solder still melted into my shorts, even after being warshed, the last vestiges of the Great Soldering Accident Of 2008!

2008June21solder 005

Remember kids, always wear your safety goggles when soldering!

Later!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I Get E-Mail

Speaking of My Dears, here is another, of a sort.

From Mr Paul.
Reply To p.williams6@voila.fr

Attn: My Dear,

My name is Paul Kone, I am the Branch manager in one of the leading international bank in Cote D'Iviore.

I got your information during my search through the Internet. I am 47years of age and married with 3 lovely kids. It may interest you to hear that I am a man of PEACE and don't want problem, I only hope we can assist each other.

If you don't want this business offer kindly forget it as I will not contact you again.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit both of us, as the Branch manager of My Bank; it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Plateaux Abidjan at the end of each year.

On the course of the last year 2007 end of year report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made seven million seven hundred fifty thousand dollars [$ 14.000.000.00] which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of.
I have since place this fund on what we call SUSPENSE ACCOUNT without any beneficiary.
As an officer of the bank I can not be directly connected to this money, so this informed my contacting you for us towork so that you can assist receive this money into your bank accountfor us to SHARE. While you will have 30% of the total fund.

Notethere are practically no risk involved, it will be bank to bank transfer, all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of this fund who made the deposit with our branch so that my Head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account.

If you accept this offer to work with me, I will appreciate it very much. As soon as I receive your response I will provide details to you on how we can achieve it successfully.
Reply To p.williams6@voila.fr

Best regards.
Mr Paul Kone.

I am not the maths whiz, but how does $7,750,000.00 equal $14,000,000.00? I am not too sure I want to entrust ANYTHING to this fellow!

Monday, June 16, 2008

I Get E-Mail

This letter sounds familiar, but I love the salutation.

Hello Dear

My name is Mrs.Jennifer Peters; I am a dying woman who has decided to
donate what I have to you/church. I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for
cancer for about 2 years ago immediately after the death of my husband who
has left me everything he worked for and because the doctors told me I
will not live longer than some weeks because of my health idecided to
WILL/donate the sum of $2 500 000 Two million five hundred thousand
dollars to you for the good work of humanity and also to help the
motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.
I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly and
please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.

Here is the Contact information of my Attorney below:
Orbin Law Firm
Abogado De Justicia
Calle Embajadores,106.2,Madrid,Spain
Notario & Tribunal
Sr Pedro Antonio
Phone/Fax:+34-693-220-723
Email:advocatepedro200@aim.com

and tell him that I have WILLED $2 500 000.00
to you and I have also notified him. I know I don’t know you but I have
been directed to do this. Thanks and God bless.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the
task is accomplished as i don't want anything that will jeopardize my last
wish.
From Mrs.Jennifer Peters.

I'm not sure what that "NB" refers to. Wikipedia offers ideas:

The letters NB or Nb may refer to:

* (as N.B.) an abbreviation for nota bene, a Latin expression meaning "note well"
* An abbreviation for 'Not Bad', used in chat and slang when describing something adequate
* The symbol for the chemical element Niobium
* The ISO 639-1 abbreviation for the Bokmål written form of the Norwegian language
* The Canada Post Corporation provincial abbreviation for New Brunswick
* New Balance, a shoe manufacturer
* Narrowboat, a particular size of water vessel found on English canals.
* One of several areas named New Britain
* Nigerian Breweries, a beverage company in Nigeria manufacturing alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks including: Heineken, Star, Gulder, Maltina, Amstel Malta, Legend, and Fayrouz
* North Britain, a historical term for Scotland
You will be glad, no doubt, that I didn't post the latest missive from fake Paypal. The Russian branch, apparently...

Friday, June 13, 2008

Thought For Food

It's cake!

2008June13cake 007


And it was good!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I Get E-Mail

Oh no! My eBay account has a boo-boo! I better get my account restored RIGHT NOW!

Oh, wait a minute, that link goes to ejbay.co.uk, not ebay.com!!


Dear eBay customer,

During our regularly schedule account maintenance and verification we have detected a slight error in your billing information on file with us.

This might be due to either following reasons:

- A recent change in your personal information (i.e. change of address)

- An inability to accurately verify your selected option of payment due an internal error within our processors. We need you to confirm your identity in order to regain full privileges of your account.

If this is not completed by June 13 , 2008, we reserve the right to terminate all privileges of your account indefinitly, as it may have been used for fraudulent purposes.

- Click on the link below:

Account Restore Page

We thank you for your prompt attention to this matter and regret any
inconvenience this may cause.

Thank you,
eBay Global Collections

Oh, and spell check says that indefinitly should be spelled indefinitely.

But you DID spell fraudulent correctly, I guess!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I Get E-Mail

Here's a new one!

How Are You,

My name is Mrs.Yekaterina Fedoseev, personal secretary to Mr. Boris
Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the arrested Chairman/Ceo of Yukos oil and bank
Menatep SPB Russia, who is presently in jail.

I have the documents of a large amount of funds which he handed over to me
before he was detained and has been sentenced to jail for not paying Taxes
and financing political parties (The Union of Right Forces, led By Mr.
Boris Nemtsov and Yabloko, a Liberal/Social Democratic Party led by Gregor
Yavlinsky) opposed to the government of Mr. Vladimir Putin, the President
thereby leading to the freezing his finances and assets.

After searching through the books of your country’s chambers of Commerce
and industries here in Russia I am contacting you to assist me To
re-profile this fund and equally invest this fund in your country.

The total amount of these funds to be re-profiled is Forty Six Million
Dollars (USD 46,000,000.00) and you will be getting 20% for your
Assistance. I shall furnish you with necessary information’s and my
identifications as soon I receive your acceptance which should be sent to
my private Email box: yekaterinaalexan@aim.com

Yours sincerely,

Mrs.Yekaterina Fedoseev

NB: I advice you read more of this ordeal from:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3213505.stm
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2005/03/29/58914.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3042850.stm
http://www.supportmbk.com


Chambers of Commerce? Me? The Leftist Commie-Liberal Rantings guy?

Oh, and apparently my PayPal account is frozen again. How sad!

Later!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I Get E-Mail

It's not what you think, I am not senile YET!!

Well, maybe I am, but this ain't it.

Mr. Slash got another one from these fine legal folks!


advocates...
hassan
hassan advocatehassan@eim.ae

Attn : Mr General manager

Dear Mr /

We are Advocates Without Frontiers law firm, whose head office is located at the Emirate of Dubai, and duly licensed to practice attorney and render legal consultancy all over the UAE.

We would kindly offer our service if you face anylegal problem in any place all over uae


For any clarification
You can contact us on
00971505065861
Advocate hassan

Feel free to make use of their services.

Monday, June 9, 2008

I Get E-Mail

If you are in the UAE and need legal representation, I highly recommend these guys. Sincerely, Mr. Slash

Attn : Mr General manager

Dear Mr /

We are Advocates Without Frontiers law firm, whose head office is located at the Emirate of Dubai, and duly licensed to practice attorney and render legal consultancy all over the UAE.

We would kindly offer our service if you face any legal problem in any place all over uae

For more information visit our web site www.awfdubai.com

For any clarification
You can contact us on
00971505065861
Advocate hassan

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I Get E-Mail

More mail, so lame.

This one must be real, it's from Hong Kong!


My Greetings

Greetings of the day to you. It is understandable that you might be a little bit apprehensive because you do not know me but I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest to share with you. . I got your reference in my search for someone who suits my proposed business relationship. Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan Executive Director & Chief financial Officer of Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have anobscured business suggestion for you.

I will need you to assist me in executing a business project from Hong Kong to your country. It involves the transfer of a large sum of money. Everything concerning this transaction shall be legally done without hitch. Please endeavour to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.

Once the funds have been successfully transferred into your account, we shall share in the ratio to be agreed by both of us. Should you be interested send the following details to kick-start the process;

Full name
Address, Nationality
Age, Sex, Occupation Marital Statu,
Private Phone Number, Private fax number

I will prefer you reach me on my private email address(patrickchan204@yahoo.com.hk) and finally after that I shall furnish you with more informations about this operation. Please if you are not interested delete this email and do not hunt me because I am putting my career and the life of my family at stake with this venture. Although nothing ventured is nothing gained. Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Mr. Patrick J.P. Chan

And I have an unobscured business suggestion for YOU, Mr. Chan! P'raps you could endeavour to figure just what it is!

And, I'm not telling ANYONE my Marital Statu!!

This one came on a humor mailing list I subscribe to. It's not much of a list, all I ever get, lately, is the occasional spam!

SAINT NICOLAS MATERNITY HOME
233 KIRIKIRI BARCELOS ROAD
NEITHERLAND AMSTERDAM.
TEL:337554345433


DEAR BELOVED ONE, GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

AM MRS LINDSDAY WHILE,A WIDOW TO LATE MIKEL WHILE AM 55 YEARS OLD, I AM NOW
A NEW CHRISTAIN
CONVERT SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST,FROM ALL INDICATION MY
CONDITIONS IS REALLY
DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WONT LIVE MORE THAN 2MONTHS,
ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS,THIS IS
BECAUSE THE CANER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE.

MY LATE HUSBAND WAS KILLED DURING THE U.S. RAID AGAINST TERRORISM IN
AFGHANISTAN,AND DURING THE PERIOD OF
OUR MARRIAGE WE COULDN'T PRODUCE ANY CHILD.

MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS
BUSINESS AND WEALTH.
THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN 2 MONTHS, SO I
NOW DECIDED TO DIVIDE THE PART OF
THIS WEALTH,TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHURCH IN
AFRICA,AMERICA ASIA,AND EUROPE I SELECTED YOU
AFTER VISITING THE AFTER GOING THROUGH SERIES OF EMAILS AND I PRAYED OVER
IT.

I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $3.500,000.00(THREE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)TO
THE LESS PRIVILEGED.

PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT FUND IS LYING IN A BANK AND UPON MY
INSTRUCTION,MY
ATTORNEY,WHO PRESENTLY IS IN UK WILL FILE IN AN APPLICATION FOR YOU FOR THE
TRANSFER OF THE MONEY
IN YOUR NAME.

LASTLY,I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERED WILL BE SURE FOR THE
SAID PURPOSE,BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO
FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY.

MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND
THE FELLOWSHIP OF
THE HOLYSPIRIT BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

I AWAIT URGENT REPLY THROUGH THIS EMAIL OR MY PRIVATE EMAIL
lindsdaywhile@gmail.com

YOURS IN CHRIST

MRS. SUSAN WHILE.

Hasn't anyone ever told Lindsday/Susan (What's up with THAT?) that typing in all caps is rude? A couple of questions come to mind: I wonder why a dying cancer patient is in a maternity hospital. How can one spell deteriorating correctly and mispel Christian?

I wonder if I could start a consulting business with these folks as clients, helping them with their grammar, spelling, spacing...

Later!