Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

Another one. Senator Mr. Jerry wants me to show up in South Carolina to get my money, the amount of which is not specified. Not that I would ever go to South Carolina, nice as it might be, as I don't travel well. Heck, I couldn't bestir myself to travel across the street for a hundred bucks, I am just THAT slack!

From: "Senator Jerry Gana"
Subject: Final Settlement of Your Payment.
Date: Sat, 29 Nov 2008 11:21:14 -0800

Dear Contractor,

Following the meeting held with the Presidency on the issue of foreign contract payments, a consensus was reached with the Presidency about the activities of some officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) who are in the habit of diverting contractors payment and frustrating them by imposing unnecessary charges on them, making it difficult for these contractors to receive their long overdue payments. All the above allegations levelled against CBN consequently compelled the Presidency to stop the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) from further managing contractors payment.

This development has been reported to the Presidency, who expressed his dissatisfaction over these actions as those were ment to tarnish the image of our beloved country. The Presidency has therefore given instruction that all foreign contractors should henceforth, stop going through the CBN officials to pursue their contract claim. Any contractor going through the CBN is doing that at his or her own risk.

The Presidency after an in-depth and pain staking study of your financial and psychological predicament in receiving your fund in the last few years, hereby this day resolved that an immediate and unconditional payment release be effected to you via our Payment Centre in South Carolina, U.S.A.

This decision is based on memorandum of understanding, signed with the above mentioned, and we in our capacity as professionals, have been mandated and empowered by the Presidency to solely handle all foreign contractual payments and other external debt servicing exercise.
Do reconfirm your status, acceptability and willingness to be in South Carolina, U.S.A for your claim as per advised.

We urge you to co-operate with us in order to ensure a quick and final settlement of your payment.

We regret any inconveniences you may have experienced in the past while trying to receive your contract proceeds.

Yours faithfully,

Mr. Jerry Gana
Contract Review Panel

So which is it, "Senator", or "Mister", Jerry, eh? And the Nigerian Senate uses a Trinidad and Tobago e-mail host? Lame-O, Jerry, lame-oh! Or, to use a word that apparently no one else has ever used, MOBUS LAME-O!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

Personally, I find the lack of a degree is holding me back. Since these yahoos have a serious problem with spelling, etc., why should I pay THEM money for a fake diploma, when I can go to the Magic Mill Diploma Generator and make my own?

Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:33:28 -0700
From: "Stephani Jong"
Subject: Low education? now you can BUY Dip1oma/Degree/MasteerMBA at cheap dax eh0

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Increase Your Salary?
Increase Your Ability to find other work?
Increase Your Marketability?
Increase Your Desirability?

Please call: 1-718-989-5740 [Inside USA]
+1-718-989-5740 [Outside USA]

is an University Degree/Dip1oma holding you back?
Kindly call us To inquire about Our degree programs.

Whether you Are seeking a Diploma, Bacheelor, M B A/ P h D
We can Provide you credentials to get you Better Career
No Study, Exam, test, or courseworks required

Please call: 1-718-989-5740 [Inside USA]
+1-718-989-5740 [Outside USA]

Please leave us your "Name, country & phone no. with Countrycode"

Our staff will call tou back soon

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

Another stupid email scam. Unbelievable!

From: "Monastic Financial Security Company S.L"
Subject: Re: Your Winning Payment
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:16:25 -0800

I am Joe Wright Managing Director, Corporate Services Division and Head of Swift Transfer Unit of Monastic Financial Security Company S.L, London UK. We wish to inform you that your winning fund was deposited in our vault.

That You were among the winners of an INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM. Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 2,500,000 email addresses of individuals and companies from all part of the world.

We are pleased to inform you that we have verified every aspect of your winning payment of US$3,000, 000, 00 and have submitted a written report to the Lottery Team and also validated your Winning payment and shall commence transfer of payment upon receiving your confirmation because there are mixed up in your payment details.


1. Did you at any point transfer your claim to one Mr. Fernandez Gomez whose bank name and account number is written below, to claim and receive the payment on your behalf?

2. His claim was backed with a "Deed of Agreement" in his favor thereby indicating the fund destination to the following account. Account name Mr. Fernandez Gomez, Bank name: H. S. B.C
3. Account No 6179172979 You are required to as a matter of urgency confirm the legitimacy of the above claim and the reason for such change.

Please confirm to us immediately via as any delay could result to the call back of the accrued interest payment to the treasury account.

We await your response

Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Joe wright
For: Monastic Financial Security Company S.L,
London UK

Phone:+44 703 197 1997
Fax: +44 871 503 2596

I am intrigued by the "via" in the last paragraph. "Via" what, I ask?
And just who is this "Fernandez Gomz" that is trying to make off with MY MONEY?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

My son Kelvin sent me this business opportunity! Wow, this could be the one!!

From: "Kelvin Andrews"
Subject: Western Union payment to your acc
Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2008 06:26:03 +0100

Dear Mom & Dad,

This is a real business opportunity for anyone (within the US and Minors)
with a flexible schedule and transportation at the extreme. I need
collection agents for my international import / export business. This is a
real second income opportunity. Great for work at home moms and dads! Hours
vary between 2-10 hours a week. Depends on our need in your area. Everyone
who is accepted will be given trial assignments. Once you have proven that
you enjoy the work and want to continue the volume of collections and amount
you can earn will increase gradually.

Once you are accepted we will have our clients pay you on our behalf. You
will pick up payments for the company nearly every day per our instructions.
You will keep 10% of all collections as your commission for your work. The
balance will be sent to our suppliers per our instructions to you.


1. Honesty and Integrity--You are handling company funds.

2. Flexibility and Commitment. You need to be available when needed.

3. Attention to detail and ability to follow instructions.

4. Transportation to Pick up Payments and make Payment to Suppliers.

5. Available 7 days a week if needed.

6. Must have computer with Internet access.

7. Must be able to communicate via email and on the phone in English. Income
potential up to $500 a week or more once you have proven you are a
trustworthy representative who can handle your assignments in a timely
manner. If you are interested send an email explaining your qualifications
and why you think this second income opportunity is right for you.

8. If you have a bank account with any of customer friendly banks in the USA,UK,Canada and Australia will be
a added advantage.

Hurry! We have several openings worldwide and will fill these positions in
the next seven days. Every email will be answered. Following a phone
interview, if you are accepted, you must be ready to work immediately.

Note this is not a salaried position with benefits. Your 10% commission is
your pay. The volume of collections determines your earnings. Your earning
potential is based on performance. We do not discriminate on race, color or
religion. If you have a good work ethic you will do well with our company.


Kelvin Andrews.
+44 703 594 9160

VP Human Relations International Division
Blue Tie Global Resources International

Oh, wait, I don't HAVE a son named Kelvin. Well, maybe the next email will pan out!

Crud, I deleted it already. Well, it WOULD have been funny. I'll have to try it again, later. There's always more spam!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I Get E-Mail!

So the Brit's National Lottery sends out notices from an ".edu" TLD?
With the word "spam" in the subject line?

SUBJECT: [spam] To file for claim
FROM: ""

To file for claim
The National Lottery
P O Box 1010
Liverpool, L70 1NL

(Customer Services)
Ref: UK/9420X2/90
Batch: 08005/ZY369
To avoid your winning prize been auto cancelled, do not reply to this Email send all your replies directly to your assigned Fiduciary Agent (
We are pleased to notify you that The Uk National Promo Draw is don annually and lucky winners
Email address are selected randomly from Millions of World Wide Emails address, and your Email
address has been selected as one of the 7th lucky winners with E -ticket Number: 123418302 188,
Serial Number : 5368/02, Batch Number: R3/A312-59, Reference Number: LSUK/2031/8161/06 and
Lucky Numbers: 07. 10, 22, 24, 34, 44, (18 Bonus Ball), which is creditted to a total sum of
£1,200,000 (ONE MILLION AND TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS STERLING) .This is from a total cash
prize of £7,200,000 GBP shared amongst the first Three (3) lucky winners in this category i.e.
Match 5 plus bonus. thousands of websites submits thier users emails address to us, in order
to enter their users in our annual UK National Lottery Promo.
To file for claim, you are required to provide us with the information below
for verification, including your below winning information:
E -ticket Number: 123418302 188
Serial Number : 5368/02
Batch Number: R3/A312-59
Reference Number: LSUK/2031/8161/06
Lucky Numbers: 4, 8, 4, 6, 0, 4, 6
Full Name:
Mailing address:
Permanent house address:
Country of resident:
Phone Number
Marital Status:
Annual Income:
E -ticket Number:
Serial Number :
Batch Number:
Reference Number:
Lucky Numbers:
Please send the above of your information to your assigned UK National Lottery Fiduciary Agent using
the following contact information
Name: Mr.Aaron Jackson.
At your disposal, we remain.
Very Truly Yours,
Miller Clinton
Copyright 1994-2008 The UK National Lottery Inc.
All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline

I STILL don't get how these guys can spell "ficuciary", I mean "fiduciary", correctly, and then spell "their" as "thier"!! Not to mention the random letter "s" inserted here and there... Spell check, bebe! Use it!